New Driveway Shoveling Ordinance announced

Due to the epidemic of neighbors inadvertently shoveling snow into other neighbors’ yards, the town has announced a complete ban on the practice.

Commenting on the ban, deputy assistant DPW director, Chase Stevey, stated:

“I am told that snow from another’s yard is much different than snow from your own yard and when it melts, the runoff is different, too. While I can’t point to exactly why this is or why this could possibly be a real problem, an extremely small and unhealthily obsessed constituency in town find the practice maddening, so it’s been, um, outlawed.”

Mr. Stevey advises that violators will be subject to a $5 fine and required to attend a snow shoveling class offered by local snow expert, Ian Grigorio.