Milton announces Easter observance guidelines

In light of the ongoing pandemic, local officials have released recommended guidelines for safely observing the Easter holiday.

High Risk

• Sit-down, indoor dinner with dozens of family members
• Indoor Easter-egg hunt with dozens of family members
• Failing to pay one’s property or excises taxes
• Eating of ham cooked by Aunt Edna
• Failing to pay one’s Budget Sunshine Fee
• Unmasked attendance of indoor religious services
• Failing to pay one’s stormwater fee
• Claiming to be the messiah in AD 33 Jerusalem

Low Risk

• Napping alone
• Watching golf on TV alone
• Paying one’s property or excise taxes
• Backyard stroll alone
• Paying one’s stormwater fee
• Wendy’s value meal consumed in vehicle, alone

Happy Easter, Milton Neighbors!